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标题: 詩詞文翻譯4 上一主题 | 下一主题
海外逸士

#1  

憶江南(唐)白居易

江南好﹐風景舊曾諳。日出江花紅勝火﹐春來江水綠如藍。能不憶江南。

Poem in Tune of Yijiangnan
by Bai Juyi (Tang Dynasty)

Good is the South of the Yangtze;
The scenes are just like in old times I know.
At sunrise, flowers on the river redder than fire;
When spring comes, the river water is green like blue.
How can’t I recall South of the Yangtze?


2010-4-11 09:03
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海外逸士

#2  

漁歌子(唐)張志和

西塞山前白鷺飛﹐桃花流水鱖魚肥。青篛笠﹐綠蓑衣﹐斜風細雨不須歸。

Poem in Tune of Yugezi
by Zhang Zhihe (Tang Dynasty)

The egrets hovering before Xisai Mountain;
Peach blossoms, flowing water, mandarin fish fat.
Green palm fiber raincoat; Green bamboo leaf hat;
No need to return in slanting wind and light rain.


2010-4-11 09:04
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海外逸士

#3  

夢江南(唐)溫庭筠

梳洗罷﹐獨倚望江樓。過盡千帆皆不是﹐斜暉脈脈水悠悠。腸斷白蘋洲。

Poem in Tune of Mengjiangnan
by Wen Tingjun (Tang Dynasty)

Just finished combing and washing,
Leaning on Look-Over-River Tower alone.
None are the one among thousand sails by-gliding;
Only sunset staring down, water stretching long.
On White-Apple Shoal feel heart's breaking.


2010-4-13 08:44
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海外逸士

#4  

如夢令(宋)李清照

昨夜雨疏風驟﹐濃睡不消殘酒。試問捲簾人﹐卻道海棠依舊。
知否﹖知否﹖應是綠肥紅瘦。

Poem in Tune of Rumengling
by Li Qingzhao (Song Dynasty)

Last night, the rain was light, but wind was strong;
Deep sleep didn’t clear hangover that remain.
When ask the one rolling up screen,
Who answers that begonia is the same.
Do you know?  Do you know?
Should be the green is fat and the red lean.


2010-4-13 08:45
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海外逸士

#5  

采桑子(宋)辛棄疾

少年不識愁滋味﹐愛上層樓。愛上層樓﹐為賦新詩強說愁。
而今識盡愁滋味﹐欲說還休。欲說還休﹐卻道天涼好箇秋。

Poem in Tune of Caisangzi
by Xin Qiji (Song Dynasty)

When young, I don't have any notions what woes really mean;
Just love to get on floors so high.
Just love to get on floors so high;
To write new poems, I try to say the words of woe and spleen.
But now I fully have ideas of what woe really is;
About to speak, but hold it back.
About to speak, but hold it back;
I only make it as how good and cool the autumn is.


2010-4-16 08:18
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海外逸士

#6  

菩薩蠻(書江西造口壁)(宋)辛棄疾

郁孤台下清江水﹐中間多少行人淚。西北望長安﹐可憐無數山。
青山遮不住﹐畢竟東流去。江晚正愁余﹐山深聞鷓鴣。

Poem in Tune of Pusaman
(Written on the wall of Zaokou in Jiangxi Province)
by Xin Qiji (Song Dynasty)

The clear river water below Yugu Terrace;
How many tears in it----tears of the travelers.
If want to see ChangAn in the northwest,
It's pitiful beyond many a hillcrest.
The verdant mountains cannot block its flow;
After all towards the east it does go.
At dusk on the river I am grieving,
Hearing in deep mountains partridges tweeting.


2010-4-16 08:19
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海外逸士

#7  

清平樂(晚春)(宋)黃庭堅

春去何處﹖寂寞無行路。若有人知春去處﹐喚取歸來同住。
春無蹤跡誰知﹐除非問取黃鸝。百囀無人能解﹐因風飛過薔薇。

Poem in Tune of Qingpinle (Late  Spring)
by Huang Tingjian (Song Dynasty)

Where is spring gone?
No way to travel in loneliness.
If anyone does know where spring is gone,
Call it back to live together with us.
Since spring's gone without a trace, so who knows.
Unless ask the oriole that is chirping;
But no one can understand his meaning,
When he flies with wind o'er a bed of rose.


2010-4-18 09:11
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海外逸士

#8  

蝶戀花(宋)蘇軾

花褪殘紅青杏小﹐燕子飛時﹐綠水人家繞。枝上柳綿吹又少﹐天涯何處無芳草。
牆裡鞦韆牆外道﹐牆外行人﹐牆裡佳人笑。笑漸不聞聲漸杳﹐多情卻被無情惱。

Poem in Tune of Dielianhua
by Su Shi (Song Dynasty)

Remaining red fading from flowers, apricots small and green;
When the swallows are hovering,
Around the houses goes the water green;
Since blown away, willow catkins on boughs are less and less.
In every corner of the world nowhere without lush grass.
The swings within the walls and the highways outside the walls;
The travelers outside the walls,
Hear the laughs of beauties within the walls.
Gradually the laughter's fading, no more footsteps hearing,
So those with feeling are annoyed by those without feeling.


2010-4-18 09:12
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luhua

#9  



引用:
Originally posted by 海外逸士 at 2010-4-11 02:03 PM:
憶江南(唐)白居易

江南好﹐風景舊曾諳。日出江花紅勝火﹐春來江水綠如藍。能不憶江南。

Poem in Tune of Yijiangnan
by Bai Juyi (Tang Dynasty)

Good is the South of the Yangtze;
The scenes are..

好久没来了,本着学习的目的,给逸士大交流一下。

How spectacular are the scenes in the south of Yangtze

Just like what I have remembered!

Bathing in the morning sun, the flowers along the riverbank are redder than fire

And the spring water is so green that it appears almost blue

How can I not miss the South!



个人以为,“江花”不是“江上的花”、“水花”或“浪花”,而是江边的花。

还有,“忆江南”不是“recall”,“miss”更确切。


2010-4-18 13:01
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海外逸士

#10  

閣下的譯文也不錯﹐雖然不夠簡潔。江花當然不是在水面上。但ON可以表示地點﹐不
一定指ON  THE  WATER。見過用ON  THE  STREET﹖不表示在街道上。用IN  THE  
STREET才是。閣下要用MISS也對﹐但得這麼說﹕
How can I not feel missing the South?

謝謝討論。


2010-4-20 08:42
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海外逸士

#11  

采桑子(重陽)毛澤東

人生易老天難老,歲歲重陽。 今又重陽,戰地黃花分外香。
一年一度秋風勁,不似春光。 胜似春光,寥廓江天万里霜。

The "Double-Ninth" Day in Tune of CaiSangZi﹕

Men easily grow old, but the welkin hardly so,
Once a year comes the "Double-Ninth" Day,
Now again comes the "Double-Ninth" Day,
Smell unusually sweet on war seat the flowers yellow.
That time of each year blows the autumn wind swift and strong,
It is unlike the spring's splendor,
But better than the spring's splendor,
Myriad miles of frost chills the sky vast, the rivers long.


2010-4-20 08:42
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luhua

#12  



引用:
Originally posted by 海外逸士 at 2010-4-20 01:42 PM:
閣下的譯文也不錯﹐雖然不夠簡潔。江花當然不是在水面上。但ON可以表示地點﹐不
一定指ON  THE  WATER。見過用ON  THE  STREET﹖不表示在街道上。用IN  THE  
STREET才是。閣下要用MISS也對﹐但得這麼說﹕
How..

不敢苟同。

你的"on"绝对有歧义,且不说抠那个用法。语言的应用是要让人明白,而不是产生不必要的误解。
再有,你那个"feel"完全没有必要。我这是一个感叹。好比“This is so good, how can you not like it?"  在我的翻译里"how spectacular....How can I not miss it",可以说遥相呼应,很地道的说法。

这是一首词,所以翻译上比较灵活。毫不夸口地说,本人的比阁下那么直白的翻译强太多,无论文采还是语言应用上。


2010-4-21 14:05
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廖康

#13  

这是英文吗?什么意思?

How can I not feel missing the South?

How can’t I recall South of the Yangtze? 翻译回中文则是:我怎么想不起来江南了?Recall 和 remember 及 miss 意思不一样。此处需要用miss.


2010-4-21 14:50
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海外逸士

#14  

我只能說閣下的英文程度還差著呢。所以我沒興趣與你辯論。謝謝發表意見。


2010-4-22 08:57
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廖康

#15  

"我只能說閣下的英文程度還差著呢。"

瞧您这态度!别说英文了,您的中文还差着远呢。我只是指出那英文的明显错误,并不是辩论,也不是对着您,更没有期望您能懂。


2010-4-22 09:46
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luhua

#16  

采桑子(宋)辛棄疾

少年不識愁滋味﹐愛上層樓。愛上層樓﹐為賦新詩強說愁。
而今識盡愁滋味﹐欲說還休。欲說還休﹐卻道天涼好箇秋。

Poem in Tune of Caisangzi
by Xin Qiji (Song Dynasty)

When young, I don't have any notions what woes really mean;
Just love to get on floors so high.
Just love to get on floors so high;
To write new poems, I try to say the words of woe and spleen.
But now I fully have ideas of what woe really is;
About to speak, but hold it back.
About to speak, but hold it back;
I only make it as how good and cool the autumn is.

逸士,这是你的大作,我直接贴过来了。

且不说没人看得懂你说的什么,先看看你的英文水平吧。

第一句,时态就错了。

when young, I did not have 而不是 don't have.

还有, not have any notions what...根本不通,英语里也没有这种说法。要么是“I did not have any idea about..." 或者 “I did not know what it meant"

突然忆起了(should I use "recall" or "miss"?)你的英雄帖,称自己的英文翻译“无人出其右”。。。

汗。。。。。。。


2010-4-22 15:22
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廖康

#17  

我很久没有看他的帖子了。昨天因为这线与我电影译名一线挨着,我点错了,看到他的翻译越发离谱了。竟然还以自己的错误来“纠正”别人,真让人替他脸红。由此我看到一个可悲的现象:自以为是的人,永远无法进步。


2010-4-22 16:22
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海外逸士

#18  

廖大教授似乎起過誓﹐不再進我的帖子。如果走錯門了﹐應該道個歉﹐馬上離開。當
然﹐要坐一回兒﹐本人亦表歡迎﹐並且深感榮幸。兩位的水平早就見識過了。所以
已沒有必要再與兩位談論英文問題了。節省口水。這裡的大門是敞開的。歡迎兩位
經常光臨。謝謝。


2010-4-23 08:44
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廖康

#19  

如此霸道,还真把这里当成你家了。骨子里其实是害怕,怕人揭你这自以为是的底。指出你的错,不是为了你,而是为了其他看帖子的人。你的翻译实在不值得看,每篇都有错误和烂译,哪里纠正得过来呀?早就告诉过你,这样不谦虚,一辈子也不可能得到正式发表。


2010-4-23 09:04
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luhua

#20  

海外逸士,我们就事论事。你的帖子除了自己不断哗哗地上传,没有人跟帖的。

我们偶尔上来看看,也是解闷。看见了明显的错误,不能说视而不见吧?大家都是“知识分子”,不能说连这点改正的勇气都没有吧?

回头看看我给你指出的英文问题,你的时态确实错了,用法且不说地道与否,根本就是自己杜撰出来的,别跟我说语言是活的,要发展什么的。


引你的原话,“兩位的水平早就見識過了。所以已沒有必要再與兩位談論英文問題了。”

我只能理解为你觉得自己的英文比我们高很多。事实未必如此。廖教授我并不相识,仅通过帖子知道是语言教授。在美国找一个教授职位很难。用别人的语言给native speaker授课更是一件不易的事,您老先生未必有这个水平。至于我自己水平如何,其实并不重要。如果你确实想知道,我也可以告诉你,我也发表了8、9十篇(英文)文章。虽说不是文学作品。不过每篇都是经过专业审稿人的手。

说岔了。你就我给你提的几个语法问题发表你的高见吧。  是我说错了,还是您输不起?


2010-4-23 10:54
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