#1 《Philogelos》——古罗马笑话集
Philo爱，gelos笑，Philogelos英译本叫Laughter-Lover [1]。原书是希腊语，大约成于公元四世纪，所收内容可能更早，现存版本最早到十世纪，共收笑话265则，有重复。虽不是已知最早，但是现存的最早笑话集。
一口气读两百多则笑话，绝对overdose，虽不至笑到神经质，疲劳是一定的。笑话、幽默的文化环境、语境都相当重要，经解释了才能笑，甚至解释了仍笑不出是讲笑话和听笑话的窘境，至少也是没意思吧。我以为读这本笑话集得摸着注解才行，结果令我比较惊讶，这古罗马笑话大都看得懂，多半笑得出，少数甚至经得起一再读。有些和后来的不同年代文化的笑话简直异曲同工。粗俗者有，绝妙者亦有。当然这也拜译者的功劳，看了注解才知道原文有相当多的双关语。比如这则，我初读就疑惑swallow在原文里是什么，
189. A doctor prescribed bread crumbs and soap wort for an ill-tempered patient, "Just a swallow," he said. "A swallow? How do you imagine I can get up to a nest for a swallow?"
笑过之后，又可从中揣摩一些当时人的生活环境、习俗和心态，注解于此也涉及很多。注解除提供语境、背景的解释，还谈到某些译词的选择。比如有几则笑话我看到过不同的翻译，把同一笑话对象译作intellectual, absent-minded professor，此书作egghead。原文的希腊词是scholasticus，不同时期语义略有不同，如文中解释：
Classical Greek: lazy person, or one who devotes his spare time to abstruse learning and useless pedantry.
Late Greek (3-8th century): someone who has completed a general education; or lawyer
我又问了讲希腊语的朋友，现代希腊语中此词与古典希腊语更接近。相当于中文的学究、腐儒吧。有趣的是，此笑话集有四成都是针对学究的，除收集人的偏向（我猜亦有自嘲成分），一定也反应出当时的某种社会心理，对那些受过教育的人——当时所谓社会精英——的不满。三、四世纪正是罗马帝国相当动荡的时代，五贤帝的好时光一去不回，内忧外患，帝国几近毁灭。随之基督教崛起，新旧伦理交替。
除了对学究们的嘲笑，亦有几则针对医生的。关于医生，几乎同时代的Athenaeus曾说，“Were it not for the doctors, there wouldn't be anything stupider than the professors.” 其他职业涉及到的有理发师、算命先生等。另一组比较多的是我们如今熟悉的ethnic jokes，嘲笑对象来自Abdera, Kyme, Sidon，主要是他们的愚蠢、头脑简单。有针对疾病、生理缺陷如眼盲、疝气的。还有小气鬼、贪吃汉、坏脾气，不一而足。以女人为主角的很少，加起来大概不足十则，注解里讲当时嘲笑女人的笑话实际上非常多，这多半是收录者的选择。但这仅有的几则是我最喜欢的。黄色笑话极少，大概也是录者的取舍。很多笑话反应当时的社会习俗，比如火葬、同性恋、父子关系，心理，比如梦的意义、对身份的迷惑，等等。
嘿，对着一本笑话集罗里罗嗦简直就是不知趣，抄书——
3. A man went to an egghead physician and said, "Doctor, whenever I get up after a sleep, I feel dizzy for half an hour, then I'm all right." "Then wait half an hour before getting up," advised the doctor.
13. Two eggheads were grumbling to each other that their fathers whom they hated were still alive.
"Well," said one, "Shall we each throttle our old man?"
"But if we do that, we'll be branded as parricides," objected the other. "I've got a better idea. You kill mine and I'll kill yours."
18. "That slave you sold me has died," a man complained to an egghead. "Well, I swear by all the Gods, he never did anything like that when I had him!"
20. After a dinner party two eggheads kept taking it in turns to escort the other home in accordance with the rules of etiquette. The result - neither of them ever got to bed. ［像极了我们熟悉的腐儒］
22. One day an egghead bumped into a friend and said to him, "I heard you were dead." "Well," said the friend, "As you can see, I am very much alive." "Yes, but the person who told me you were dead is much more reliable than you." ［有没有郑人买履的影子？］
27. An egghead who was ill promised his doctor a reward for curing him. Later on, when his wife was reproving him for drinking wine when he had a fever, he answered, "Do you really want me to get better and so have to pay the doctor his reward?"
45. An egghead got up in the night and got into bed with his grandmother. When his father beat him for this, he protested, "But you've been f**king my mother for years without my ever having hit you, so why are you so mad at catching me at my very first go?"
49. Whilst contemplating the moon, an egghead asked his father if other cities had one so good.
55. A witty young egghead sold his books when short of money. He then wrote to his father, "Congratulate me, father, I am already making money from my studies!"
56. A barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor taking a journey together. They have to camp overnight, so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it's the barber's turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says "How stupid is that barber? He's woken up the bald man instead of me." [2]
57. When an egghead had a child by a slave girl, his father advised him to kill it. But he replied, "First, you kill your own children, then you can talk about me killing mine."
69. An egghead went to call on the parents of his best friend who had just died. "My son, you have devastated me!" lamented the father. "My son, you have put out the light of my life!" lamented the father. The egghead remarked to his other friends, "If he really did all that, he deserved to have been burned alive!"
72. Having attended a wedding reception, an egghead took his leave with these words: "May all your weddings be happy ones!"
101. Some people were marvelling at the likeness between a pair of twin brothers. An egghead gave them a look and remarked, "This one doesn't look as much like that one as that one looks like this one."
108. A boastful type was in the market place when he spied his slave boy just in from the country. "How are all my sheep doing?" he called out. "Oh, one is asleep, the other is standing up."
112. An Abderite was trying to hang himself when the rope snapped, causing him to bang his head. So he went to the doctor for a plaster, put it on the bump, went back, and hung himself.
139. A Sidonian doctor received a legacy of 1000 drachmas in the will of a man who had been his patient. He turned up at the funeral and complained aout the smallness of his bequest. Later, when he had been called in to treat the dead man's son who had fallen ill in his turn, the doctor said, "Leave me 5000 drachmas in your will, and I'll cure you the way I cured your father."
142. A lightfingerred doctor stole the lamp of a wag whom he was treating for ophthalmia. Subsequently, he asked the patient how his eyes were. "It's a funny thing, ever since you treated them I haven't been able to see my lamp."
148. "How shall I cut your hair?" a talkative barber asked a wag. "In silence!"
177. There was the doctor from Kyme who switched to a blunt scalpel because the patient on whom he was operating was screaming so much from the pain.
186. A doctor visited an ill-tempered patient, examined him, and said, "You are sweating badly."
"Well, if you can sweat any better, there's the bed, get in it and sweat!"
187. A rude astrologer cast a sick boy's horoscope. After promising the mother that the child had many years ahead of him, he demanded payment. When she said, "Come tomorrow and I'll pay you," he objected: "But what if the boy dies during the night and I lose my fee?" [3]
193. When someone knocked at the door of an ill-tempered man, he called out, "I'm not in!"
The caller laughed and replied, "Of course you are, I heard your voice!"
"Damn you, if my slave had said I wasn't in, you'd have believed it! Do you mean to say you'd rather believe a slave than me?"
234. "Why do you hate me?" a man with bad breath asked his wife.
"Because you love me!"
244. Said a young man to his randy wife, "Wife, what shall we do, eat or make love?"
"Whichever you like; there's no bread."
246. A misogynist stood in the marketplace and announced: "I'm putting my wife up for sale, tax-free!" When people asked him why, he said: "So the authorities will impound her." [3]
247. A misogynist paid his last respects at the tomb of his dead wife. When someone asked him, "Who has gone to rest?," he replied: "Me, now that I'm alone." [3]
248. A misogynist was sick, at death's door. When his wife said to him, "If anything bad happens to you, I'll hang myself," he looked up at her and said: "Do me the favor while I'm still alive." [3]
263. Someone needled a jokester: "I had your wife, without paying a dime." He replied: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?" [3]
264. A wag was being tried in court when he noticed the judge was dozing. "I call upon you, Your Honour," he shouted. "Er, call upon me for what?" "For your undivided attention!"
再罗嗦一段，因为这是令我迷惑亦觉有趣的。说到ethnic jokes，针对Abderite的共有18则（110-127）。Abdera在色雷思（Thrace），古希腊时期是非常富裕的城市，后加入提洛同盟。古罗马时期最初是自由港，但到了四世纪中叶已经衰落，那时的Abderite（Abdera人）在雅典人眼中大概就是乡巴佬了。如今的Abdera有近四千居民。
但是认为Abderite愚蠢却始自西塞罗，然后才流行于拉丁和希腊语世界。而这个词和嘲笑相连又和来自Abdera的德谟克利特有关。他喜欢嘲笑愚蠢的人事，被称做Laughing Philosopher。Abderitan laughter则演变为笑个不停的人，而Abderite也就成了这样的嘲笑者。也就是说，abderite从最初的嘲笑者身份最终转变为被嘲笑者。当然笑个没完或时机不对就是傻笑，或者转变的过程也有这个因素。再加上城市本身的衰落，最终abderite在罗马帝国的范围就成了傻瓜的代名词，且流传至今进入英语。
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[1]《The Philogelos or Laughter-Lover》Translated by Barry Baldwin, J.C.Gieben, Publisher, Amsterdam, 1983
[2] Translated by others
[3] Translated by J.T. Quinn
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