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标题: [原创] 译者看古风歌词《半壶纱》/梨花颂翻译和回译 上一主题 | 下一主题
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#1  [原创] 译者看古风歌词《半壶纱》/梨花颂翻译和回译

译者看古风歌词

《半壶纱》

方壶斋

汉语语法灵活,特别是可以有无主句。这给写诗提供了极大方便。但是要把这些诗翻译成英文,译者就得刨根问底搞清楚每句话都是啥意思。比如这首《半壶纱》。首先,题目我就不懂。半壶茶应该是没有歧意的。youtube 上英文有写 half yarn的。我想会不会这是个古代纺织术语?但是后来也没查出来。还有,这题目跟歌曲内容有啥关系?只有三毛钱的关系:桑麻,袈裟,轻纱。因此,这题目不够主题思想的资格。不像长江之歌那么明确。再看歌词:

作词:刘珂矣、百慕三石

墨已入水 渡一池青花
揽五分红霞 采竹回家
悠悠风来 埋一地桑麻
一身袈裟 把相思放下

第一句就不懂。什么墨,墨汁还是墨块?什么水,江河湖海还是画室里的砚台?什么池?青花是瓷器吗?怎能用池当其量词?渡又当何讲?莫非是说研墨在瓶底书汉隶?

十里桃花 待嫁的年华
凤冠的珍珠 挽进头发
檀香拂过 玉镯弄轻纱
空留一盏 芽色的清茶

第二句,帽子上的珍珠怎么挽进头发?摘下来挽还是连着凤冠,难受不?

倘若我心中的山水 你眼中都看到
我便一步一莲花祈祷
怎知那浮生一片草 岁月催人老
风月花鸟 一笑尘缘了


一、二句什么关系?如山水喻心意,那么“我”祈祷啥?“我”的身份是什么?好象是出家人。整个串下来,好象是一个男人失恋的故事。这男的有点小才,会文墨,但是摆脱不了干农活的命。算个乡下秀才吧。第一段讲耕读。他迷恋个女的,但是人家嫁人了,空留一盏清茶。他就出了家,把相思放下。但是还不死心,说如果女方看到了他的心事,他就一边守着青灯古佛莲花,一边祈祷会有奇迹发生,让女方回心转意来找他,他就还俗过老婆孩子热炕头的生活去。但是他又哀叹时光不等人,他很快就一头白发, 等不到女方改弦易辙了。他只好打肿脸充盘子,说我不在乎,一笑了之。

顺着这个意思, 不理会上述不通之处,似乎可以这样翻译

Song of. A Failure

I make my ink to draw patterns on a blue china ware
At dusk under rosy clouds, I carry home bamboo on the thoroughfare
In gusts of wind in the field I the seed of crops sow
But one day I became a monk my luve to let go

My luve was at her prime age for marrying a man
They changed her hair style her wedding to announce
In the aroma of incense silk was put in her hand
Leaving a cup of tea from young buds she stepped into the sedan

Oh my luve if you knew what I desired of you
I would pray as I walk around the lotus seat
But life is only grass that soon is no longer new
With smile I can only the end of our acquaintance meet

我这个是个典型的民歌体。 Luve=love, 参考彭斯的诗。


**************************

睡觉没事胡思乱想,把梨花颂翻成英文,再从英文翻成中文。吃饱了撑的。

When pear blossoms bloom rainy is the spring day 11
When pear blossoms fall, back to the dust go they 11
This life of mine is made only for my love 11
I believe that my lord loves me the same way 11
From oblivion must flee a natural beauty 11
A poet's work thus carves her name into history 11
The Song of Eternal Love, an ageless piece 11
Bewitches generations with the story 11

梨花开时春带雨,
梨花落时碾作尘。
此生只为一人去,
情痴同我是王尊。
天生丽质难自弃,
千古芳名赖诗存。
长恨一首传世曲,
留与后生常思忖。

才发现原歌一韵到底,雨,泥,去,痴,弃,迷,思。痴和思应该唱成 chee,see。我这个版本是 abababab。英文大体是 aabaccdc

****************************
寂寞天宝后,园庐但蒿藜。我里百馀家,世乱各东西。存者无消息,死者为尘泥。贱子因阵败,归来寻旧蹊。久行见空巷,日瘦气惨凄,但对狐与狸,竖毛怒我啼。四邻何所有,一二老寡妻。宿鸟恋本枝,安辞且穷栖。方春独荷锄,日暮还灌畦。县吏知我至,召令习鼓鞞。虽从本州役,内顾无所携。近行止一身,远去终转迷,家乡既荡尽,远近理亦齐。永痛长病母,五年委沟溪,生我不得力,终身两酸嘶,人生无家别,何以为蒸黎。

In the desolate years after the rebel warfare
Yards and houses were overgrown with weeds
The hundred or so households of my neighborhood
Have fled east and west to seek a corner of peace

Those who are still alive, no one knows where they are
Those who are dead are now buried in muddy earth
I, a veteran  of a battered army back from the battles
Returned to my old country to my home and hearth

I walked long hours but in deserted streets
Weak was the sun and sad was the scenery
I ran into nobody but foxes and raccoons
Who howled at me with standing hair angry

In the neighbors’ houses no people still stayed
But one or two old widows I could see
How could I forsake home due to poverty
Since a returning bird prefers its original tree

It was spring I was the only one shouldering a hoe
At dusk I was still watering the crops in the field
County officials upon learning about my return
Summoned me as drummer for the spear and shield

Although it’s a local service near at home
Examining my house I have no belongings to take
I was only myself who will go on this short journey
But who knows this service will not an expedition make


I then realized my home no longer existed here
Is there a difference to be stationed far or near?
My pain is my mother who suffered long in sickness
And died in a ditch during my five years’ service

She brought me into the world but I could not do my duty
Both my mother and I will weep in this world and after
When one does not even have a home to bid adieu to
How can you call him a subject of a merciful ruler?


2017-8-21 14:27
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